Then she said "you shouldn't defend him! he's wrong and you shouldn't say it's okay!" and I try to explain at a time like this and at this exact condition, a child only wanted someone who understand him, I wasn't saying he was right, I was just trying to understand him since you been all judgy and stuff. Or maybe it's the way you tell him, all I hear was you being all mad and judgy and of course as a normal person a defense must be done when he's feeling cornered. And then we keep arguing and stuff, then she took off.
So I took a moment alone, thinking that I have no one understand me back then. All I had was a moment alone to cry myself to sleep. What i'm trying to explain to my mom is that in my brother's age, a moral support needed the best. I was just trying to understand his feeling, his tiredness from all this school pressure and at least make him feel that this house felt like home a bit, eventhough I rarely feel that way. I knew what kinda thing he needed, 'cos I just trough the same path couple years ago, and yes I know how exactly how that feels.
I was forced to study everyday after school, you know those private tutor. I was freakingly tired from those routine and I just can't stand it if I have to face those for more 2 years. Right when I can choose whether to be in the science class or social class. I was fed up with all this private tutor and so I chose social studies. It was the best decision i've ever made in my life, not once I regret it.
The choice I made has made me who I am today, right at this moment where I type this thoughts into words. My point is, sometimes you gotta fight for your path and try which shoes fits you the best, even it cost you some fortune.
currently listening to Glee's Pretty/Unpretty mashup, about to sleep any minute, nighty night
